TRUMPs, the show, part 6

Who needs comedy writers, when comedy writes itself in real life? I continue my coverage of the reality show TRUMPs. As is usual these days, I make no promise that anything I report is based on fact. I leave it to my readers to sort out what is fact and what is fiction.

DonaldT has been keeping us in fun and games again. When Hillary, his main adversary in Season 1, won Dancing With the Stars by popular vote, DonaldT tweeted that he would have won, “If you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.”

Why would he do that? What is it with DonaldT and all this tweeting? Why does he feel the need to win Dancing With the Stars too?

I am told that DonaldT was having a guys´ night out with his buddy Alex when he tweeted this one. You do remember Alex, who plays Master of Conspiracy Theory in the  surprisingly successful series Infowars, don´t you?  It´s the show that takes place in a parallel universe. It´s hilarious. Check it out on Internet. Alex does crazy and fake like no one else.

Spoiler alert. I hear the series will end with Alex waking up from a coma in a hospital somewhere overseas. It was all a NASTY dream, it seems. They tell me DonaldT was very upset, when he heard about the ending. He hadn´t seen it coming; he thought the show was for real. Well, at least as real as a reality show gets.

Could DonaldT wake up one day to the realisation that his victory in “The Campaign was all a dream too? Many out there may hope so, but TRUMPs´ producers tell me, “it ain´t gonna happen.”

That may well be the case. I hear “Mad Dog” Mattis has agreed to the role of secretary of defense, which should keep the show´s sponsors happy.

Except for Mattis, who is a star in his own right, the cast of Season 2 is starting to look like a Members Only gathering of the DonaldT fan club. Some have been slow to convert to DonaldT fandom, but when there is a role to be had, you do what you have to do.

Not only is it amateur hour out there, it seems to be billionaire day too, with so many alleged billionaires joining the show.

But back to tweeting, Kellyanne´s tweeting crusade against “Slick Mitt” seemed weird to me. Is Kellyanne promoting a side-show?  Can we expect to see “Kellyanne, the force behind TRUMPs” soon? Wouldn´t that be fun? For Kellyanne at least.

The lady really isn’t doing you any favours out there, DonaldT. Maybe you should do something about it. Why not be creative, and look for someone who actually knows the difference between fact and fiction.

You can always give a nice spin to facts too, which you so aptly proved in your latest  teaser, “DonaldT Rides to Rescue. I was impressed.

Let me recap the story for those who missed it. As you remember from Season 1,  DonaldT promised to build a wall on the Mexican border and revive US manufacturing. Now the pressure is on, and he has to do something.

He can´t really build the wall, or help the more than 7 million jobless people out there, so instead he gives a heart wrenching performance, saving 800 jobs singlehandedly at an Indianapolis plant.

Well, if you want to split hairs, it might be fair to say that he had a little help from Indiana taxpayers, since the save did cost up to $7 million in tax incentives. But who wants to split hairs? I am sure the Indiana taxpayers were happy tos save 800 jobs- and DonaldT´s face.

I was riveted. It was a truly brilliant performance by DonaldT. Scarcely a handkerchief was left dry. Now, lets say the unemployment rate rises by a few hundred thousand; who would care? All we remember is the camera slowly fading out on a victorious DonaldT surrounded by the lucky 800. Great show, DonaldT!

I can´t wait to see the next one. I hear it will be called “The Chinese Wall”. You heard right, Chinese not Mexican. It is all about a trust he is setting up. I will keep you posted.